Since Yo departure from Perth, I seem to have a habit of tears coming out of my eye when I chat with her. Is it because she saddens me or is it because I miss her so much? That’s what my heart asked. Apparently my heart told me that because I miss her so much and there is a high degree of insecurity in a unique relationship, things she say and do, make my emotional feeling volatile. She can make me very happy in one second by saying something nice and sweet and another second she can make me extremely pissed off and lose control.
Today is the fourth day since her departure; I lost my social aspect already. I was suppose to go out with TAT Weng for the PERTH MOTOR SHOW but ended up sitting at home facing the computer, wondering the few things down here; it would be great is my friends who read my blog comment on it including my dear who refuses to comment on my blog;
1) What is it with some girls commenting on their bf blog. Is it hard to comment on?
2) How do you concentrate on hours of study without distraction?
3) Why human being can be so venerable sometimes?
4) How do you cheer a gal up and keep them 24/7 happy?
Well… that my problem now. Other than that, I am extremely disappointed at myself and making things worst in this relationship with my dear…
Lately I feel kinda angered with my dear, which I feel very sorry after awhile. It was regarding her blog. One minute I was asked to comment on her blog so I did as she said, coz don’t wanna disappoint her. Then later she says, it is to “Yok MA” as in something like sending shivers down the spine. Then she decided wanna hide it. As she was doing it, she just want to hide it completely and get kinda pissed off coz she can’t do it. Here it goes again…. We quarrel over it.
As I was so pissed off I said to her,” Why the hell you wanna hide it if you want me to put a comment, then if you like to hide it and there is no point of asking me to put a comment for u”
In return she says it kindly to me” I just want you to put a comment on my blog but not to “Yok MA”.
I angrily say, “What you want me to do, I put a comment on how I feel towards you and express freely of myself mah. Why do I have to lie to myself about such thing… And in my mind was like saying,”I don’t need to hide myself under a shell as if like I am a criminal that need a disguise to walk around.”
Well what can I say. I feel bad, minutes later as she didn’t really get mad at me as she is just making a request and that is also her blog, she can do whatever she wants with it. My reaction certainly has been over… It has been a hard and tedious road for both of us reaching here and yet I am being so angered over such a small things. I think I goona stop here now… because I started to feel extremely lost now as I started to find myself on the end of losing control and flying to KL and find her.
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1 comment:
Small small thing like this no need to quarrel lah. Some things that are personal between the two of you can just stay between the two of you. Its ok like that.
Anyway, Nicole also never commented on my blog. Sometimes I feel sad lah, but what to do rite? It doesn't matter though because she just commented whenever she wanna on MSN or thru the phone.
At least you knew about her blog and all. I'm still wondering if Nicole is keeping a secret blog away from me. :(
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