Over the past weeks, i have to choose a decision that will change my life forever as it has an unforeseen future in it. Even today, i am still doubt what i have to do.
1) Shall i finish my degree and go to Malaysia and work
or
2) Shall i continue studying and go to Malaysia in one year time.
Both may seem similar and yet the reason seprated from the two is my love one. Going to Malaysia early meant i will meet her earlier and going late meant i have to meet her later. I don't mind doing so but what i mind is losing her forever.... because one year can happen so many things.... and i also don' know how to think now.....
i hope all of my friend can help me here.... to choose.... will be waiting for your reply
Sunday 30 January 2005
Monday 24 January 2005
LoViNg SoMeOnE
Loving a person without condition is harder than i ever thought. Due to dream and hope, a relationship grows stronger and more beautiful. Having to find the right one is even tougher than anything i could ever imagine. Since meeting her, my dream and future seem to flourish with her. Having her by my side is all i wish to see happening.
Happiness and love grow inside me, telling me not to give up. Is my love for her stronger that the pain she cause me? Having to look around for true happiness and someone who i can love with all my heart and someone who meant more that just a love one to me, i have found her. i found her after my 20 years of life. Going through relationship by relationship, finally i found her. Unfortunately, it will take me a life time to be with her.
Eventhough she is standing just in front of me but i can't hold her or touch her or talk to her as the one cm apart is just like a little piece of wall blocking me from getting closer. Today, she find the right one for me and it's not me. She found her happiness and dream. She has a goal and view of life knowing what to do to survive.
Yet i am here helplessly so dependent on her, waiting for her to come and love me. Holding onto me and never to leave me agian. Is love all that we need. How is love so powerful until one person dream and life can be shattered until piece after years of planning and in one second or by one word the whole thing juts blown apart. well that is what i have been expereince for the past few years anyway....
A fall will always be a fall and a rise will always be rise. Let us see where my planned dream and life will bring me.... Hope to see you come to my heart soon, my love.
Happiness and love grow inside me, telling me not to give up. Is my love for her stronger that the pain she cause me? Having to look around for true happiness and someone who i can love with all my heart and someone who meant more that just a love one to me, i have found her. i found her after my 20 years of life. Going through relationship by relationship, finally i found her. Unfortunately, it will take me a life time to be with her.
Eventhough she is standing just in front of me but i can't hold her or touch her or talk to her as the one cm apart is just like a little piece of wall blocking me from getting closer. Today, she find the right one for me and it's not me. She found her happiness and dream. She has a goal and view of life knowing what to do to survive.
Yet i am here helplessly so dependent on her, waiting for her to come and love me. Holding onto me and never to leave me agian. Is love all that we need. How is love so powerful until one person dream and life can be shattered until piece after years of planning and in one second or by one word the whole thing juts blown apart. well that is what i have been expereince for the past few years anyway....
A fall will always be a fall and a rise will always be rise. Let us see where my planned dream and life will bring me.... Hope to see you come to my heart soon, my love.
Tuesday 11 January 2005
Stress?
Well... What a day today? never imagine this to happen to me but it happen. i feel so stress out. As i just figure out my schedule for my summer and what i have to do...... i can't imagine i can survive by my own strength. i don't know what hit me also today all of the sudden i seem to suffer life crisis where all of the sudden my personal life is tuning sour as well.
I suddenly feel so lonely here in Perth, like no hope but try to pull myself out of this crisis with my own strength. i don't know how with such heavy stress and load at my shoulder but hopefully an angel can come to my life to support me. i feel like my only support has just left me and won't be found so easily.
I have always advise people to be strong and to be independent but what am i doing here? not being strong.... hate myself being this way but i guess i have to get over it. Well... i guess all i can depend on is myself now... be strong don't give up.... i have a dream to achieve.... and i should not let anyone destory it for me.....
Well tomolo is another day hope it will be better....
I suddenly feel so lonely here in Perth, like no hope but try to pull myself out of this crisis with my own strength. i don't know how with such heavy stress and load at my shoulder but hopefully an angel can come to my life to support me. i feel like my only support has just left me and won't be found so easily.
I have always advise people to be strong and to be independent but what am i doing here? not being strong.... hate myself being this way but i guess i have to get over it. Well... i guess all i can depend on is myself now... be strong don't give up.... i have a dream to achieve.... and i should not let anyone destory it for me.....
Well tomolo is another day hope it will be better....
Sunday 9 January 2005
Wat A Sunday?
Today, for the first time in my life i am really working and i have choose to start as a waiter. I am currently working in Noodle Inn, Habour Town for $7 per hour.... Now i can really feel the hard work, i am only earning $42 per day which i can just spend like that in less than an hour. :(
I started work at 11.30am - 5.30pm today. it was so tiring..... can you imagine a person like me working as a waiter.... i can't imagine though but i am really doing it.....
Well... That is about my job... now i have to worry about my application for PR. I wish i have enough points to apply for PR. I am so confused now.... very sad yet very confused.
Tommorow is another day... another stressful day for me. i don't know why lately have been very mang zhang. i have been scolding some of my fren and also been torturing myself by staying at home most of the time, i guess espaically to those who i am really close to... which i hate to mention but i know who boy and girl know who you are:D
anyway i feel very lost now better go take my sweet dream sleep 1st bye bye
I started work at 11.30am - 5.30pm today. it was so tiring..... can you imagine a person like me working as a waiter.... i can't imagine though but i am really doing it.....
Well... That is about my job... now i have to worry about my application for PR. I wish i have enough points to apply for PR. I am so confused now.... very sad yet very confused.
Tommorow is another day... another stressful day for me. i don't know why lately have been very mang zhang. i have been scolding some of my fren and also been torturing myself by staying at home most of the time, i guess espaically to those who i am really close to... which i hate to mention but i know who boy and girl know who you are:D
anyway i feel very lost now better go take my sweet dream sleep 1st bye bye
Wednesday 5 January 2005
Summer Course Started......
As summer course started, my work started and so is my study..... here goes my final year in study at Perth hopefully...... :D..... Life seem to get harder and harder as i am getting older and have to face more things in the world.
Hm..... now i am going to interview on friday for a waiter job hopefully i got it so i can work hard to earn and save more money.... :D.... i want to earn enough money to start my own business and start a new life with good future prospect. currently as the Guild General Secretary.... i feel i am lucky to be here.... having a steady job and a good parents supporting my study and soon good a part time jobs.... i also met so many new friends and help me all the time.
well..... it seem interesting start for me now i guess... hope everything goes well... now.... but then i am still waiting for all my bunch of friends to come back.... i want to hang out with all of u very bored .....
Hm..... now i am going to interview on friday for a waiter job hopefully i got it so i can work hard to earn and save more money.... :D.... i want to earn enough money to start my own business and start a new life with good future prospect. currently as the Guild General Secretary.... i feel i am lucky to be here.... having a steady job and a good parents supporting my study and soon good a part time jobs.... i also met so many new friends and help me all the time.
well..... it seem interesting start for me now i guess... hope everything goes well... now.... but then i am still waiting for all my bunch of friends to come back.... i want to hang out with all of u very bored .....
Saturday 1 January 2005
New Year 2005, In Perth
Well, one day has past since i came back from Malaysia after a very sweet and unforgetable trip. Meeting Yoshiko and her family as well as Hui Lin and her family were just something i can't forget. Spending time with Yo espaically is something that will be a memory for me.
I know that future cannot be predicted, therefore i just wanna say that it is an unfrogettable moment if it won't happen agian, i just wanna tell my beloved yoyo, thank you for giving me the chance to spend this wonderful one week with you. i know i might not have the chance to do so agian but i will always remember the moment and time we spend together in Perth and Malaysia.
Well.... as the topic say a brand new year.. 2005.... IT's a new year, but things seem to stay the same except for coupleof changes. Like day after day, my love for yo is getting deeper and deeper yet, we can't be together. Yoshiko has finish her degree in B.Sc. Psychology as i will be finishing my degree in Bcom Global Economics and Finance by February.
I will be continuing my Grad. Dip in Int. Relations in 2005 and expected to be a Grad. Dip Holder by 2006 and continuing finding a job and work.
Well as i say i am now in Perth but my heart is not in Perth now. i seem to miss yo so much until i am now feel so lonely and sad. hm.... i wish i can do something other than waiting and waiting. i wish i can help her go through her probelms and my own probelms too hehehe..... Yoyo, i really miss you. i know you will feel as usual i say that all the time..... :( but i really feel very lonely without you....
Wish everyone have a Happy New Year!!!!!
I know that future cannot be predicted, therefore i just wanna say that it is an unfrogettable moment if it won't happen agian, i just wanna tell my beloved yoyo, thank you for giving me the chance to spend this wonderful one week with you. i know i might not have the chance to do so agian but i will always remember the moment and time we spend together in Perth and Malaysia.
Well.... as the topic say a brand new year.. 2005.... IT's a new year, but things seem to stay the same except for coupleof changes. Like day after day, my love for yo is getting deeper and deeper yet, we can't be together. Yoshiko has finish her degree in B.Sc. Psychology as i will be finishing my degree in Bcom Global Economics and Finance by February.
I will be continuing my Grad. Dip in Int. Relations in 2005 and expected to be a Grad. Dip Holder by 2006 and continuing finding a job and work.
Well as i say i am now in Perth but my heart is not in Perth now. i seem to miss yo so much until i am now feel so lonely and sad. hm.... i wish i can do something other than waiting and waiting. i wish i can help her go through her probelms and my own probelms too hehehe..... Yoyo, i really miss you. i know you will feel as usual i say that all the time..... :( but i really feel very lonely without you....
Wish everyone have a Happy New Year!!!!!
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