Well...... Gooddd.......... News.............. For Everyone............ I have graduated from my degree and now i am a B.com in Global Economics and Finance. For only a Weekend i was no longer recognised as a student hehehhee :P welll guess why....... coz i have enrolled into my new course of Graduate Diploma in International Relations. Future leader in Asia. hehehehe Teo Kian Kee....
What make my life even better is that, i met His majesty Sultan of Brunei on Saturday...... and later that night i attended my love one graduation. :D.
Well as always good news always come with a bad news... i have burn my face with a hair removal lotion and it is really painful.... but what is event more painful is that i become a laughing stock to everyone i knew. :(... sa... right wat a friends they r... hehehhee. joking lah... at least they seem happy and have something to laugh about. anyway..... my dream will go on with her support hopefully....
Tuesday 22 February 2005
Tuesday 15 February 2005
End of My Valentine Days
Februaury 14, As i was driving back home from university, i went passed Ciao Italia. It was a very romantic atmosphere, i see so many couple. they were hugging each other, waiting for tables with the girl leaning on the boy and looking at the menu. It was such an happy moment for couple on Valentine day and yet i am lonely here single and helpless.
Yet most amazingly, the sun was only reflecting on one of the city building. that is the AAPT bulding and directly at the revolving restaurant. It was the restaurant that i have planned to bring my love one this year but end up, i don't have such a chance.
Well, things never end at such a great day. It seems like it is the end of my valentine days on a day after valentine day itself. Feb 15th. The long waited story finally ends, my heart has been crashed and destory completely. My dream and future ends here with despair and misery. I once told myself, i will not let this love ends but i guess i have no choice. i don't have the strength to keep the flame burning and keep it eternally like the burning flame in Kings Park and Paris. I have lost and lost badly. It is a punishment for years of sins and unfaithfulness. No one to be blame but myslef. For someone not to love and care about me and lied to me is my punishment. i will never forget that what i deserve. To be unloved, to be lied to be hurt and to suffer.
Goodbye my love, i no longer will be a burden for you. i no longer will be the foundation for you. i no longer will trouble you. i certianly will disappear from you eternally. hoping you will have a happy future without my shadow and misery i have caused you. this will be the dying of the burning flame.
Yet most amazingly, the sun was only reflecting on one of the city building. that is the AAPT bulding and directly at the revolving restaurant. It was the restaurant that i have planned to bring my love one this year but end up, i don't have such a chance.
Well, things never end at such a great day. It seems like it is the end of my valentine days on a day after valentine day itself. Feb 15th. The long waited story finally ends, my heart has been crashed and destory completely. My dream and future ends here with despair and misery. I once told myself, i will not let this love ends but i guess i have no choice. i don't have the strength to keep the flame burning and keep it eternally like the burning flame in Kings Park and Paris. I have lost and lost badly. It is a punishment for years of sins and unfaithfulness. No one to be blame but myslef. For someone not to love and care about me and lied to me is my punishment. i will never forget that what i deserve. To be unloved, to be lied to be hurt and to suffer.
Goodbye my love, i no longer will be a burden for you. i no longer will be the foundation for you. i no longer will trouble you. i certianly will disappear from you eternally. hoping you will have a happy future without my shadow and misery i have caused you. this will be the dying of the burning flame.
Sunday 13 February 2005
End of my Degree
Well... i have finish my final two unit. hoepfully i can pass all of it and graduate.... i kinda sacred at the moment with one fo my unit as i don't ahve a pretty good mark and lack of the confidence for that paper. Hope my prayer and anyone who have supported will make these work out for me.
Well tommorow is Valentine Day, yet i am alone in Perth. going to have a normal day, work at 8.30am till 5.30 pm at Curtin Student Guild then going home clean the house bit by bit. hopefully by 21 feb it will look brand new for inspection.
Well good news is that i will be moving out of that place by 27 feb, if everything goes smoothly. and be able to graduate from my degree and continue my gradaute diploma in international relations.
Howvere good news alwaysa come with bad news, i currently haven;t found any place to stay yet at all and will be homeless by 27 feb. other then that i am also not sure about my result until sometime this week. :(. i am also currently alone in Perth eventhough Joey, Dine and David are here, but i still feel lonely. It is the first time i feel i have lost the complete of me. Is like my heart no longer want to be in Perth for the first time. no longer have the heart to apply PR. hm... welll guess what...
I will go agianst all my will and heart to fight this difficulty and successfully defeat my evil self in my heart. the evil of keeping myself close into the love and never consider my future and my life. It seem like a diffcult move to take but no one can deny it that it going to be the most hurting step i goona take....
Anyway ... wish all of you a happy chinese new year and get more ang pow and give me some.... i so kolian no angpow this year.....
Well tommorow is Valentine Day, yet i am alone in Perth. going to have a normal day, work at 8.30am till 5.30 pm at Curtin Student Guild then going home clean the house bit by bit. hopefully by 21 feb it will look brand new for inspection.
Well good news is that i will be moving out of that place by 27 feb, if everything goes smoothly. and be able to graduate from my degree and continue my gradaute diploma in international relations.
Howvere good news alwaysa come with bad news, i currently haven;t found any place to stay yet at all and will be homeless by 27 feb. other then that i am also not sure about my result until sometime this week. :(. i am also currently alone in Perth eventhough Joey, Dine and David are here, but i still feel lonely. It is the first time i feel i have lost the complete of me. Is like my heart no longer want to be in Perth for the first time. no longer have the heart to apply PR. hm... welll guess what...
I will go agianst all my will and heart to fight this difficulty and successfully defeat my evil self in my heart. the evil of keeping myself close into the love and never consider my future and my life. It seem like a diffcult move to take but no one can deny it that it going to be the most hurting step i goona take....
Anyway ... wish all of you a happy chinese new year and get more ang pow and give me some.... i so kolian no angpow this year.....
Tuesday 1 February 2005
My Future, My Life
As i was reading the 'Youthful Diary' of Daisaku Ikeda some of his poem and words strucks my attention.
Pg 45
I am young. I will advance. Straight ahead, on the road I must follow.
I am young. I will fulfil what the heavens have ordained.
I am young. I will muster my courage, convinced that all struggles under my teacher's
guidance will lead to the good.
Pg 51
Youth!
Know the statelt swells of the Pacific.
Know the blazing passion of the sun.
Know the solemnity of the mountian recesses.
Know the graceful scarlet of the autumn maples.
Youth!
Live without forgetting these.
Advance with them in your hearts.
Youth!
Be courageous in today's battle.
Celebrate tomorrow's ideal.
Forget the dreams of the past.
Arise, for the dreams of the future!
Youth!
Advance, advance,
Onward and eternally.
Reading more on his dairy, i feel supported by the words. A person courage and believe in the things they do and the this care so much in. Eventhough, i try to make my friend reply my last post to scold me or anything. I feel i am running away from the truth and the fact that deep down in my heart i have my answer. That is to study and move on with my life, with or without her.
I have make myself fall into the trap of depression and crisis myself when i can choose not too. I know i have everyone support including her but my fear of losing out is just not worth it. It maybe now she meant so much to me but it doesn't meant it will last forever if she choose not to be with me. As a member of today society, i should start to have faith and believe in faith.
Reading a book froma man who is a disciple of buddhism, i am honour to know that he too has his time of diffuculty and face it like a disciple of buddhism. Needless to say, i came from the orgin of buddhism, i feel ashame for not acting like one and apply the philosophical of buddhism into myself. Eventhough that Nichiren Buddhism a subsect of the buddhism but its' teaching are mainly come from the true buddhism where it is philosophical based and there is no god but ourself learning to use our inner strength to attain buddhahood. I feel it is my time to do as well to take my where i left in my believe and learn more.
As more i read about Ikeda book, i feel like i gain knowledge and undertsanding on life itself and what one can achieve in life by just believing in a religion that no other than believe to use our inner strength and philosophy.
I will take a day off tomorrow from everything and learn to make use of my time to find out and think of what i really wanna get out of my messy life.
Pg 45
I am young. I will advance. Straight ahead, on the road I must follow.
I am young. I will fulfil what the heavens have ordained.
I am young. I will muster my courage, convinced that all struggles under my teacher's
guidance will lead to the good.
Pg 51
Youth!
Know the statelt swells of the Pacific.
Know the blazing passion of the sun.
Know the solemnity of the mountian recesses.
Know the graceful scarlet of the autumn maples.
Youth!
Live without forgetting these.
Advance with them in your hearts.
Youth!
Be courageous in today's battle.
Celebrate tomorrow's ideal.
Forget the dreams of the past.
Arise, for the dreams of the future!
Youth!
Advance, advance,
Onward and eternally.
Reading more on his dairy, i feel supported by the words. A person courage and believe in the things they do and the this care so much in. Eventhough, i try to make my friend reply my last post to scold me or anything. I feel i am running away from the truth and the fact that deep down in my heart i have my answer. That is to study and move on with my life, with or without her.
I have make myself fall into the trap of depression and crisis myself when i can choose not too. I know i have everyone support including her but my fear of losing out is just not worth it. It maybe now she meant so much to me but it doesn't meant it will last forever if she choose not to be with me. As a member of today society, i should start to have faith and believe in faith.
Reading a book froma man who is a disciple of buddhism, i am honour to know that he too has his time of diffuculty and face it like a disciple of buddhism. Needless to say, i came from the orgin of buddhism, i feel ashame for not acting like one and apply the philosophical of buddhism into myself. Eventhough that Nichiren Buddhism a subsect of the buddhism but its' teaching are mainly come from the true buddhism where it is philosophical based and there is no god but ourself learning to use our inner strength to attain buddhahood. I feel it is my time to do as well to take my where i left in my believe and learn more.
As more i read about Ikeda book, i feel like i gain knowledge and undertsanding on life itself and what one can achieve in life by just believing in a religion that no other than believe to use our inner strength and philosophy.
I will take a day off tomorrow from everything and learn to make use of my time to find out and think of what i really wanna get out of my messy life.
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