It has been awhile since I know what I want. For weeks, I have been wondering what is the right and wrong.
As my good friends all say, I have gone through so much bumps and repeating the weirdo cycle. WHY AM I HERE AGAIN? No doubt I can tell anyone of you that this time will be the one that make a difference. As you all know, she is Yoshiko Tey Mee Ho and how can I say that she will not be my gf nor can I say she will choose me after all this while.
It is true Kenny say, if I really love someone I should take the risk and it is also true what dine cehceh say, I have to bear the consequences and what came along. There is no one I can blame but myself if anything goes wrong. Yet alone, I choose to move on and pursue the unimaginable pathway to love her with all my heart.
Through my circle of friends, there is mixed feeling about this issue I know. Especially, Dine Cehceh, Tiffany, Candice, David Koko, Nic nic cehceh, Kenny Koko and Uncle Steiner (hehehehe)….. and also those I don’t mention… I wish I had an answer to explain to all of you how actually I feel about her and what might lie ahead of me. :D
It is also now that I thank Stephanie Tan for everything…. If not because of her, I won’t meet YoYo…. Who is extremely adorable, sweet, loving; yet annoying sometimes hehehe. But most importantly, she is gorgeous and pretty deep inside my heart. If it is because of Steph, I wouldn’t have choose this pathway to go after YoYo…. as well…..She has make me stronger and think more for myself plus taking into the consideration of what the opposite sex might think and feel.
Well this is the story of an exceptional love case. Where for the fourth time in my past 19 years and 10 month of life, I have fall in love with a girl who already has a boyfriend. All I can say every story has a beginning and ending, it is up to the girl and me to choose how we would like to end it. This time, is harder than before, the ending is yet unknown and unclear. It is true she has a boyfriend but that alone doesn’t stop or conclude our story because I choose to write the story and pursue till the end. I believe in myself and her that my true loves will one-day touches her heart. it will been when all my friends will see the seed grow into a small plant and later become a big tree that will grow even stronger and bigger as time goes.
Today, it wish to thank all the spirit of my circle of friends for everything, including the newly-added member to ISC Buddy Group, Kah Mun, Tat Weng and Hui Lin….of coz not to miss out my beloved one… Yoyo… :P… this is my blog and so I will make it as touchy and “rou ma” as I want hehehe. Take to all who read my blog…
Last but not least, my exam is coming up…. Nov 1, 5 question/ 8 question to finish in 1 hrs…arr….and 3 presentation and one major assignment…. All in one week time… best of luck to myself…. And all I wish for is not to receive the same welcoming as last few experience during this time…. The gal I love hurt me… so if yoyo read this please, don’t come up with any sort of pain and hurtful stuff and repeat the curse…. Of killing me with love problems… hehehehe…. Just joking…. But I do hope one day, you will really give me the chance to be with you….. and not just as a very good friend like now…. So let the time tells…..
Tuesday 26 October 2004
Tuesday 12 October 2004
Lost in the blue sky
Sometime i wonder how i can survive in the world full of love and being in love. For the past few months, I have been questioning myself how is it like to be in love and not to fall in love agian. till today, i still haven't got my answer yet.
i know i am in love before with a gal and thought she will be in my heart for a very long time but today i found out that i have fall in love with another gal.
Many freinds have advised me that not to go after this gal becuase she is attached. but i have refused to listen for some reasons and problems i have learn from the past.
Theory say that, if you love a person so much then learn to let go and if she is happy you will be happy. we shouldn't be selfish and must learn to let go. for years i learn this theory, which make me lost so many people and hurt myself so much that i feel like i want to give up my life once.
Today is a day which i have o choose agian. between giving up the person i love so much and let her love the another person and don't try it out. or should i take the risk and try to make it work out.
there has been an old saying that, if we try we at least have some chance of succeeding but if we give up now we will always find failure only.
I am now really lost between the two principle.... which one is the best????
gttg now people i am too tired to type now will continue laterzz....
i know i am in love before with a gal and thought she will be in my heart for a very long time but today i found out that i have fall in love with another gal.
Many freinds have advised me that not to go after this gal becuase she is attached. but i have refused to listen for some reasons and problems i have learn from the past.
Theory say that, if you love a person so much then learn to let go and if she is happy you will be happy. we shouldn't be selfish and must learn to let go. for years i learn this theory, which make me lost so many people and hurt myself so much that i feel like i want to give up my life once.
Today is a day which i have o choose agian. between giving up the person i love so much and let her love the another person and don't try it out. or should i take the risk and try to make it work out.
there has been an old saying that, if we try we at least have some chance of succeeding but if we give up now we will always find failure only.
I am now really lost between the two principle.... which one is the best????
gttg now people i am too tired to type now will continue laterzz....
Monday 4 October 2004
Second day of Bad Luck
Over the weekend, Sunday 3rd of October 2004 happen to be my second day of bad luck. As i was about to pump my bicycle and use the pump broke into half and leave me with no choice but to ask for help from Tiffany.
Not only so as, Tat Weng driving tiffany's car and bring me to Karawara Shell station, another bad luck took place, where there is no hose and the air pumping system at all. Thus it has force me to go all the way down to BP at the end of Manning Road to pump the tyre.
Sometime i wonder why am i in such a luck.... it has been a bad enough day for me already and yet more bad luck occured. i really don't know what to do. Life seem like full of unwanted surprises.
i the least thing i wish it won't happen has happen also.... i feel helpless sometime espcially when i am not able to be with the person i love. i wish that she can be the one who give me confident and strength as well as the one who pull me out of misery and pain. at this moment i am starting to doubt my dependecny of this girl. she has meant so much for me since my recovery. i really wish i will not have to lose her this time and able to be with her. i know it may seem impossible at the current state as i was not sincere enough and good enough for her. i do hope once i can become a better person and able to show my sincereness, she will accept me.
Not only so as, Tat Weng driving tiffany's car and bring me to Karawara Shell station, another bad luck took place, where there is no hose and the air pumping system at all. Thus it has force me to go all the way down to BP at the end of Manning Road to pump the tyre.
Sometime i wonder why am i in such a luck.... it has been a bad enough day for me already and yet more bad luck occured. i really don't know what to do. Life seem like full of unwanted surprises.
i the least thing i wish it won't happen has happen also.... i feel helpless sometime espcially when i am not able to be with the person i love. i wish that she can be the one who give me confident and strength as well as the one who pull me out of misery and pain. at this moment i am starting to doubt my dependecny of this girl. she has meant so much for me since my recovery. i really wish i will not have to lose her this time and able to be with her. i know it may seem impossible at the current state as i was not sincere enough and good enough for her. i do hope once i can become a better person and able to show my sincereness, she will accept me.
Sunday 3 October 2004
Super Unlucky Day
Saturday, 2 October 2004, is now recorded as my super unluckiest day of the year losing more than a $1000....... many may wonder why i lost so much me.
Let me explain the whole story. it started as a fine good morning and everything seem do be fine and ended just prefect. but till 10.30pm when i discoverd my car being break in, parking near canning college, the basketball court area.
i ahve lost my CD Player cost $200, my trench coat cost $200, my USB Drive $120, my three percious scarf priceless.... because hand-made by my mum, my freind and given by my niece, My MCW'04 T-shirt, my green zip shirt. :(
further to that, i just check my exam result which i didn;t do well for it.... :( damn unlucky 2 bad news in like 10 minutes which ruins my whole day.
i really don't know now.... i feel like running into a bad luck zone agian.... and the only way to get out of it will be hoping the person i love to give me all the support, i need to pull me out of this mess.
life is full of surprises..... everytime i meet my ex... something bad sure happen in like one week period. ergh..... hope i won't need to meet her agian.....
well..... thats for my unlucky day.... :(
Let me explain the whole story. it started as a fine good morning and everything seem do be fine and ended just prefect. but till 10.30pm when i discoverd my car being break in, parking near canning college, the basketball court area.
i ahve lost my CD Player cost $200, my trench coat cost $200, my USB Drive $120, my three percious scarf priceless.... because hand-made by my mum, my freind and given by my niece, My MCW'04 T-shirt, my green zip shirt. :(
further to that, i just check my exam result which i didn;t do well for it.... :( damn unlucky 2 bad news in like 10 minutes which ruins my whole day.
i really don't know now.... i feel like running into a bad luck zone agian.... and the only way to get out of it will be hoping the person i love to give me all the support, i need to pull me out of this mess.
life is full of surprises..... everytime i meet my ex... something bad sure happen in like one week period. ergh..... hope i won't need to meet her agian.....
well..... thats for my unlucky day.... :(
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