How to love you truly when I really find it hard to understand why? Why she seem not to understand how I feel. Why doesn’t she see the pain and suffering I have? Why doesn’t she see that I am hurt and really need her care and love? Why doesn’t she see that I need her to tell me what going with her sometime and stop being so silence over the phone and internet when she is curious or feeling that I don’t understand or misunderstand her?
Over the past few months, I feel I am in the mixed feeling of over cared and uncared by the same person. Nevertheless I choose not to let go and fight on. Today, I am here facing an imaginary fear of losing to myself. My own heart and soul whom no longer can stand these feeling of keeping all to myself and trying to find an answer to WHY?
After such a long journey of loving her, I reach the dilemma of what is LOVE and CARING. Are they related at all by any chance? You my dear are all I needed now and want to have. However time, our past, our unique relationship and our feeling stop of from being together.
Since the day I made up my decision to study which till today I have regretted, life have been changing every single day. Our distance has been separated physical attachment and mental attachment to a certain extend. I on the other side, many time make outrage request and bad remark on you and in return not only hurt you but me. Not only so, when you care me too much I feel you are too annoying but when you care less I think you don’t love me. When you ask for my opinion and decision I find you too dependent and when you refused to listen to my opinion and decision I feel you are too independent for me.
How do I able to love someone so truly, madly and deeply if this is the case. What do I want actually? Who am I, to make this remark?
In the end of all this conflict and mysterious feeling of tiredness of the problems, my heart and soul has stand together to tell me that ever since you left, I miss you so much as if that my whole world fall apart without you. Your physical presence has become a greater attachment to me as if like you are my heart.
Dear all readers, I wish there is a way out of all this:-
1) Should I stop all this pain and finish my graduate certificate and go.
2) Should I continue studying until Graduate Diploma and Go
3) Should I finish my course until Master then Go.
Second Advise:-
After Leaving
1) Should I go to KL
2) Should I go back Brunei and then to KL
3) Should I go back Brunei
Third Advise:-
How can I win her heart completely that she will have the love and caring that I wish she has for me?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
firstly, i think you should continue with your studies, whatever it is that you are doing. it's never good to leave things hanging in mid-air.
secondly, where you should go depends on where you really want to be. wherever you decide to go, make sure you don't regret after. relationships may or may not last, but once you decide to go somewhere to start your career, it is a fairly long-term decision.
and thirdly, everyone has a different way of caring for and loving a person. just because she doesn't love you the way you want her to doesn't mean she doesn't love you with all her heart!
but alas, these are just my opinions. at the end of the day, the decisions are yours to make. hope everything turns out fine for you ^_^
Post a Comment