My Future, My Life

As i was reading the 'Youthful Diary' of Daisaku Ikeda some of his poem and words strucks my attention.

Pg 45

I am young. I will advance. Straight ahead, on the road I must follow.

I am young. I will fulfil what the heavens have ordained.

I am young. I will muster my courage, convinced that all struggles under my teacher's
guidance will lead to the good.

Pg 51

Youth!
Know the statelt swells of the Pacific.
Know the blazing passion of the sun.
Know the solemnity of the mountian recesses.
Know the graceful scarlet of the autumn maples.

Youth!
Live without forgetting these.
Advance with them in your hearts.

Youth!
Be courageous in today's battle.
Celebrate tomorrow's ideal.
Forget the dreams of the past.
Arise, for the dreams of the future!

Youth!
Advance, advance,
Onward and eternally.

Reading more on his dairy, i feel supported by the words. A person courage and believe in the things they do and the this care so much in. Eventhough, i try to make my friend reply my last post to scold me or anything. I feel i am running away from the truth and the fact that deep down in my heart i have my answer. That is to study and move on with my life, with or without her.

I have make myself fall into the trap of depression and crisis myself when i can choose not too. I know i have everyone support including her but my fear of losing out is just not worth it. It maybe now she meant so much to me but it doesn't meant it will last forever if she choose not to be with me. As a member of today society, i should start to have faith and believe in faith.

Reading a book froma man who is a disciple of buddhism, i am honour to know that he too has his time of diffuculty and face it like a disciple of buddhism. Needless to say, i came from the orgin of buddhism, i feel ashame for not acting like one and apply the philosophical of buddhism into myself. Eventhough that Nichiren Buddhism a subsect of the buddhism but its' teaching are mainly come from the true buddhism where it is philosophical based and there is no god but ourself learning to use our inner strength to attain buddhahood. I feel it is my time to do as well to take my where i left in my believe and learn more.

As more i read about Ikeda book, i feel like i gain knowledge and undertsanding on life itself and what one can achieve in life by just believing in a religion that no other than believe to use our inner strength and philosophy.

I will take a day off tomorrow from everything and learn to make use of my time to find out and think of what i really wanna get out of my messy life.